Dear John......

I just want to take this opportunity to congratulate you on winning the Republican Presidential Nomination. I want to reassure you that Dick and me don’t have any hard feelings toward you for not wanting us at your big party in St. Paul last week. Little people don’t think much of me right about now and my poll numbers are down. So, I understand how you feel.

I know you and me haven’t seen eye-to-eye over the years, but Dick and me think you’re still a good old boy and we want you to continue the Republican tradition. As you know, we are putting all of our resources at your disposal. I still can’t believe I served two terms. All I can say is that our people are really good. So, don’t you worry about a thing. The 169 lobbyists we have on your team know what to do. Hell, look at the ideal selection our guys made with Sarah Palin. During Viet Nam, I was enjoying running women and having a goodtime and daddy told me to get involved with the armed forces because it would look good. The swift boat guys were hesitant to work with my campaign, but daddy talked to T. Boone and the rest is history. And if you think the swift boat fellas were affective for me, wait until you see what our people are going to come up with for you!

I couldn’t say this around the guys, but if you do the right thing while you’re at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, you will be taken care of, in spite of Cindy’s money. And for the first time, you’ll be your own man. Dick’s people made a killing in Iraq. Right now, the vice president is not worried about a thing, except his ticker.

I truly believe America is the greatest country in the world and the only way we can remain number one is to insure the dominance of the top tier. We finance technology and foster innovation. We state the course for success and the little people carry out our plan.

Dick and me want to thank you for all of your support and we wish you and Sarah much success. Always remember that we take care of our own.

God bless America!

Sincerely,
George W. Bush

p.s. You, Sarah, Dick and me must get together and go moose hunting after the campaign. Don't worry, I'll make sure Dick's gun has blanks.