Sunday, October 12, 2008

Writing on the wall

….a desperate and introspective John McCain laying his burdens down with Phil Grahm

Hello, Phil?

Hey swabbie!

Phil, I got to talk to you! This whole thing is out of control! Did you hear that dumb-ass woman telling me that the O-man is an Arab? Phil, I’m tellin’ ya, everywhere I go I’m running into these crazed KKK-like lunatics asking me these ignorant questions and shouting radical epithets against Obama….it’s really scaring me. This is not the America I fought and sacrificed for!

John, we knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty. After what that nitwit in the White House put this party through, we knew it would be an up-hill struggle. And those boys on Wall Street just made matters worst. When the Keating-5 came to light, I thought my talk with those boys would have put everyone on notice that, ‘if you don’t want to be regulated, be self-regulated and you can make ALL the money you want under the radar.’ Nah, those boys got greedy and reckless. Hell, I didn’t think it would screw-up the whole world!

Phil, I’m gonna have to have a sit-down with Rick [Davis] to come up with a new strategy.

A new strategy?

Yeah, Phil, because the electoral map is dismal and based on what I see, the only way I could pull this thing off is that the O-man say or doing something really stupid and Obama is too smart for that. Sarah’s Alaska public trust sanction and Todd’s radical secessionist affiliations…..why didn’t we vet that Annie Oakley?

Swabbie, all is not lost, yet. I know Rush is not a big fan of yours, but I’m gonna put a call into him and ask that he talk-up your campaign. I’ll give Bill-O and Sean a call, too. We still have the debate on Wednesday, so let’s not give up the ship just yet. After all, I told the little-lady I’m gonna be the next Secretary of Treasury.

Well, tell Wendy to hold her horses ‘cause it ain’t looking too good. I’ll tell ya Phil, I’d rather lose this campaign than to see this country divided the way it was in the 1860s. Perhaps, just perhaps I can come out of this thing with a li’l self-respect. Ugh, only God knows what Bush is gonna leave the White House with.

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