Political Decompression

Perhaps you feel like me. I am emotionally and physically spent!

As one who has done D.C. Marathons, Marine Corps Marathons, New York City Marathons, biathlons and umpteen 10K races, my body and mind feels equally exhausted after completing this political cycle.

I can only imagine what President-elect Obama and Senator McCain must feel like. Especially Senator McCain at seventy-two years of age!

After fielding the many phone calls, emails, debriefing meetings with friends, I just want to shut-down and rest. I have not had a sound-night’s sleep in the last two weeks because I have been consumed with work and anticipation of the things to come.

If you feel like me, let’s do something nice for ourselves. I plan to take a nice swim and treat myself to a massage.

Where's Joe the Plumber?

.....Joe?....Joe? Has anyone seen Joe the Plumber?

As an ardent Obama supporter, I got to admit that I felt sorry for the Republican party presidential nominee at a rally in Ohio, yesterday. McCain looked embarrassed standing on the dais, wondering where his latest no-show gimmick, “Joe the Plumber” was.

They say Joe was cashing in at the time of the rally, trying to cut a recording deal? Cindy McCain looked like she has had enough and wants to pack it in and go home(s). Can’t blame her much. Going home(s) beats looking at the “plumber’s crack” all day and throwing down road-kill mooseburgers with the governor and kids.

Girl gotta do what a girl gotta do!

Palin discusses her future with Rick Davis (McCain's campaign manager)

Rick, after the O-man’s 30-minute dig last night, with all due respect for our boy, the senator’s moose is cooked! Now, I agreed to come onboard to generate some interest in the campaign, but, lets face it: I did my job, but you didn’t do yours! Now that I got a li'l following, a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do. Sorry, Charlie, I got to think about my future.

What’a ya saying?

Hmmmm game show host sounds pretty good about now.

Opportunist!

The McCain Campaign: better than a reality show!

People, I talked to Senator McCain just after the final debate and I need to make some changes: new ads, new focus! If anybody got a problem with that, tell them to see me, Rick Davis.

Ah, Rick! Call for you….it’s Senator Grahm.

I’ll take it in my office, thank you.

RICK, WHAT THE BLAZES IS GOING ON? I TALKED TO JOHN AFTER THE DEBATE. THE SWABBIE THINKS HE WON ‘CAUSE FOX SAID SO! I WENT ALONG WITH HIM ‘CAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE CRAP AND HE’S MY FRIEND!

Sir, I was just about to implement some cha…..

DON’T INTERRUPT ME, SON. NOW... SOMETHIN’ GOTTA CHANGE, HERE. MY GUY’S CAMPAIGN IS BEGINNING TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A PURE-D FOOL, THESE LUNATICS SHOWING UP AT RALLIES. YA NOT GIVING JOHN ‘NOUGH COGENT STUFF TO TALK ON THE ECONOMY. YA MADE AN ICON OUT OF A PLUMBER WHO IS A LYING NUT. YA GOT SARAH “ANNIE OAKLEY” PALIN APPEARING ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, TONIGHT AND, NOW, COLIN “TURN-COAT” POWELL IS GONNA ENDORSE “THAT ONE?"

"I am not George Bush....but, I love George Bush!

Senator Grahm….please hold for Senator McCain.

Phil?

Hey, swabbie!

Well?

You knocked it out of the ballpark, matie! That was the best I’ve seen you. Good job.
Look, real quick….I talked to Bill-O this morning. He’s onboard, but he said he needed something, he needs a hook, he needs some red meat. Got an idea: a government with all Dems!

What?

Imagine this: Democrats controlling both houses AND Pennsylvania Avenue! After the second session of Congress, the people will be begging for the GOP to come back. The Dems will be like kids in a candy shop. Spending will go through the roof and the deficit will be astronomical! So, what you need to do for the next twenty days is to push that fear to the people. That’s the hook Bill-O, your base and the indys need to hear. It’ll scare the hell out of the people that feel the markets have screwed them.

Hmmmm, one question, Phil: why did Fox’s poll say I won last night’s debate and everybody else said I lost?

Bill-O & Phil: Early morning tete-a-tete

Bill-O returns Senator Phil Grahm's late night call:


Honeyyyyy, it’s Bill O’Rileyyyyyy….

Thank you, Wendy-poo!

Bill-O! Hey, thanks for gettin’ back with me. Good morning.

No problem. Good morning, Senator.

Bill, I’m going to get to the point. Our guy is sweatin’ bullets and he needs to get a facelift. It’s T minus 20 days and we got to work together to turn this thing around for him. Now, I’m thinking that if our conservative friends in the media can get onboard, I mean REALLY get onboard; maybe we can stop some of the bleeding. I know Rush’s position on my guy. Your thoughts?

Well, Senator, have you talked to Rick Davis, yet?

No, I wanted to talk to you and a few others, first.

Senator, I’ll never say this in public, of course, but Senator McCain got serious issues. I want to assure you sir that I’m a devoted Republican and you know that. But I’m hard-pressed to prepare for my show everyday in support of our man when he doesn’t give me anything I can hang my hat on. With all due respect sir, how far can I take his POW experience….the war hero? His campaign is throwing out “economic decoys”: Reznick, Ayers, ACORN, trust. Senator, I want to go to bat for the senator, but he’s not giving me any red meat! At this point, he better hope that the “Bradley effect” kicks in. Like the kids say, “I’m just trying to keep it real,” sir.

I appreciate your honesty, Bill-O.

Senator, just give me something, anything! My people want to support him with their hearts and minds. But, honestly, they’re there only out of loyalty, now. [I] hope the debate goes well, tonight.

Thanks, Bill. I’ll get back with ya.

Writing on the wall

….a desperate and introspective John McCain laying his burdens down with Phil Grahm


Hello, Phil?

Hey swabbie!

Phil, I got to talk to you! This whole thing is out of control! Did you hear that dumb-ass woman telling me that the O-man is an Arab? Phil, I’m tellin’ ya, everywhere I go I’m running into these crazed KKK-like lunatics asking me these ignorant questions and shouting radical epithets against Obama….it’s really scaring me. This is not the America I fought and sacrificed for!

John, we knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty. After what that nitwit in the White House put this party through, we knew it would be an up-hill struggle. And those boys on Wall Street just made matters worst. When the Keating-5 came to light, I thought my talk with those boys would have put everyone on notice that, ‘if you don’t want to be regulated, be self-regulated and you can make ALL the money you want under the radar.’ Nah, those boys got greedy and reckless. Hell, I didn’t think it would screw-up the whole world!

Phil, I’m gonna have to have a sit-down with Rick [Davis] to come up with a new strategy.

A new strategy?

Yeah, Phil, because the electoral map is dismal and based on what I see, the only way I could pull this thing off is that the O-man say or doing something really stupid and Obama is too smart for that. Sarah’s Alaska public trust sanction and Todd’s radical secessionist affiliations…..why didn’t we vet that Annie Oakley?

Swabbie, all is not lost, yet. I know Rush is not a big fan of yours, but I’m gonna put a call into him and ask that he talk-up your campaign. I’ll give Bill-O and Sean a call, too. We still have the debate on Wednesday, so let’s not give up the ship just yet. After all, I told the little-lady I’m gonna be the next Secretary of Treasury.

Well, tell Wendy to hold her horses ‘cause it ain’t looking too good. I’ll tell ya Phil, I’d rather lose this campaign than to see this country divided the way it was in the 1860s. Perhaps, just perhaps I can come out of this thing with a li’l self-respect. Ugh, only God knows what Bush is gonna leave the White House with.

Republican presidential rallies or lynch mobs?

Fueled by a sense of desperation, Republican presidential rallies have been peppered with shouts of “terrorist,” “Arab,” “bomb,” “alien” and “kill him” directed at Senator Obama.

It became so bad at a GOP rally yesterday that Senator McCain got fed-up with the amount of hatred and ignorance his base is spewing that he spoke out against it, calling Senator Obama, “a decent, family man, [a] citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with.” Apparently, it has become quite clear to Senator McCain that his campaign is spiraling out of control. It is this writer’s opinion that the McCain Campaign manager, Rick Davis, is directing this presidential campaign in an effort to divert our attention from the economic crisis at hand. Governor Sarah Palin is becoming a drag on McCain as a result of a bipartisan Alaska legislative committee finding her in violation of the public trust.

The Republican presidential candidate, in the eleventh hour of this political cycle, is trying to salvage what self-respect he has and love for this nation by rejecting the stoking of hatred for Senator Obama, instigated by the far-right fringe elements of our society.

Strapped by a political “perfect storm” of two on-going ground wars, the worst international financial disaster seen in years, the worst sitting president, declining poll numbers and an erratic campaign, Senator McCain’s efforts are, perhaps, too little…too late.

"But Phil, I did my best!"

Debate Prologue

Senator Barack Obama said, essentially, Senator McCain’s campaign lacks ideas, a plan and time! Hence, the shout to kill Senator Barack Obama at a recent Governor Palin rally, the reason to sling epithets and slurs is an attempt to win at any cost. Is that cost making country first or is that cost making Senator McCain first?

The Debate

Senator McCain needed to knock Senator Obama out of the ring, but he didn’t! Sure, last night, there was not much that we have not heard before. But I think, according to Senator McCain, “that one, Senator Obama” presented himself more presidential and didn’t permit Senator McCain to misrepresent his position on health care and foreign affairs. God bless him, the Arizona senator did the best he could to connect with the electorate, but his best just wasn’t good enough last night. He latched onto the retired naval CPO who asked the question about the security of Israel. Senator McCain got so excited I thought he was going to ask him out for a date after the debate.

As I stated before, I still feel a generational/personality difference between the two senators. This difference is manifested in how they interact with each other and their positions they’ve taken. For example, Senator Obama has been more conciliatory and complimentary when his opponent says something that he agrees with in these debates. Where as Senator McCain is recalcitrant. Also, in the first debate, Senator McCain failed to make eye contact with Senator Obama. I cite these finer observations because it is important when interacting with those that do not agree with you. To have these interpersonal skills can bring adversaries to your side or at the least, find common ground. Senator McCain quoted President Theodore Roosevelt, “speak softly and carry a big stick”. There is not much about Senator McCain that leads me to believe that the senator is prepared to talk, constructively, with our adversaries.

Debate Epilogue

When I view events such as the debates, I tend to go back and forth between CNN, MSNBC, FNC and CSPAN. It never ceases to amaze me how polling outcomes are vastly different between the “news services”. It appeared, again, that we were looking at entirely different events. The conventional thought is that voters gravitate to the news service that most supports their political views.

However, what must be obvious to us all, as of this writing, is that Senator McCain is down in the polls and is in the proverbial “kitchen sink” attack mode. I have doubts about the senator’s ability to change his fate by only making a case of Senator Obama’s pass relationships in light of his own questionable relationships and the all-consuming economic crisis we find ourselves in.

Heeeeere's, Johnny!

If Senator McCain really needed to show his stuff, it should have been last night at Ol Miss. The military, foreign affairs…..that’s his shtick!

America gave him his chance. Did he deliver? Since a fellow blogger took offense to my “western showdown”, I will use a boxing analogy this time: when you are fighting the champ, you have to beat him, decisively, in order to take his title. Sure, the good senator from Arizona was strong in his foreign affairs arguments, but he was not decisive or convincing. As a matter of fact, Senator Obama scored highly in this area.

Senator McCain made references to how people thought and did things back in the 1900 and something. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love ancient history, too, but….. Back then, this country practiced gunboat diplomacy. But, microbrother, Senator McCain points-of-reference are off-kilter because he was a P.O.W. for five and a half years.

Sure, and there is a generational issue, too. Well, those are my points, exactly. If we are trying to reposition our world paradigm and our leaders are taking us backwards, how in hell do we progress as a society? Let’s not talk about the financial disaster we’re in!

Senator McCain, you have been on the Hill since Senator Obama was still trying to find his way, yet after all of these years, your foreign affairs mind-set sounds whacked, today. And this is supposed to be your strong suit? Will somebody, please, deal this man a better hand? Rrrrrr, matie!

Beware of deception

"All warfare is based on deception. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him." - Sun Tzu

This political cycle has been better than any Hollywood drama.

John McCain is wounded and weak. He finds the need to resort to other tactics, e.g. canceling the first day of the convention, choosing a "wild card" as a running matie rrrrrr, the first to use negative ads, misrepresenting the facts, the rush to suspend his campaign for photo-ops . Most military forces can not go against U.S. forces, man-to-man, because the U.S. is just too strong. Therefore, the smart thing to do is to use guerrilla warfare tactics which are very affective, as most recently seen in Viet Nam, Iraq and Afghanistan.

McCain’s “political” guerrilla warfare can not be taken lightly. His tactics may appear lame and weak, but they could be just enough to encourage those that feel lame and weak to come out and support him when they would not otherwise, do so.

Respect your opponent, people!

You're going down, McCain!

You can run to Capitol Hill, but you can't hide. I' m calling you out, McCain....tomorrow, at Ole Miss at 9pm, sharp!

Obama '08!

Johnny & Phil part-2

Hello…Phil! I just called to say thanks for that “back hand” you gave me yesterday. I was just feeling so discombobulated over this financial @#$% we’re in that I don’t even know which of my seven houses I’m in right now.

Well, you’re calling from a 212 area code. I guess you’re in New York.

Hey, what do you think about that strategy Karl and Rick came up with? The media ate it up!.

Your polls should get a boost behind it.

Yeah, that was a stroke of genius! I know the O-man is calling me all kinds of S.O.B.s because he called me first this morning about a suspension of our campaigns, to return to Washington and to deal with this stuff we’ve ignored for so many years. I told him that I’d get back with him. So, I called Karl and Rick.

Swabbie, you just did what Republicans do. I know Lee is rolling over in his grave. Look, over those years, we just permitted our free enterprise system be a free enterprise….laisez faire! Remember John Wayne, Ronald Reagan. 'We can’t let those red-pinko communies dictate counter to what our founding fathers fought and died for!'

Phil, I wish you could have heard me this morning. I told the O-man that we could make a joint-statement declaring a suspension. I told him that I’ll have my people call him back to coordinate the statement….NOT! We didn’t return his call and I turned around and made a public statement about MY suspension.

That Karl and Rick are something else! And you really came off looking and sounding magnanimous, swabbie!

Yeah, I was pretty “magnanimous”. But, you know as well as I do, Phil, that I’m not ready for these debates and Sarah is, definitely, not ready.

John, I think Karl and Rick will agree with this: It’s all about image…. perception. Your actions today were presidential. Just go up to the Hill. Take a few photos and talk a li’l trash then get your butt down to Mississippi…..this is your presumptive Secretary of Treasury speaking! I’ll call ya.

BTW, there’s word on the street that “W” wants to get together with you and the O-man, tomorrow. Give’ em hell, Matie! Rrrrrrrrr

Johnny & Phil

A little birdy overheard this conversation between John McCain and Phil Graham while on the campaign trail:

Listen Phil, since this whole financial @#$% broke last week on Wall Street; I don’t know how we’re going to handle this. I know the O-man’s team is gonna rip a new one in me on Friday.

John, don’t worry about it. My good friend, how long have we’ve known each other, you big dumb swabbie? Look, I’ve been advising you all of these years. I ain’t going to leave you hangin’ like this. Repeat after me: We..are..going..to..the..White..House..together! I’m gonna get you through this one, too. Hank Paulson is a good man. I got a meeting with him, tomorrow….

I hope it’s a very private meeting ‘cause I don’t need to hear about it on MSNBC or CNN. Look, Phil, this country is in a mess and, for God’s sake, I’m not up to…….

Look, I don’t wanna hear it, John.

Did’ya hear George Will is pulling his support for me?

George is an intellectual jerk. Ahhh, your base don’t read anyway! I mean, they don't read him.

Judgment

The current turbulent financial crises, possibly amounting to the tune of one trillion dollars, and the equally disastrous middle-eastern wars must now be resolved in a non-partisan and even in a non-denominational manner more than ever.

As a result of this domino catastrophe, it is imperative for the best minds and those with the best intentions to roll-up their sleeves and tackle these problems with every citizen. For the purpose of full disclosure, I am a Democrat and a supporter of Senator Barack Obama, as well as a Christian.

Judgment/leadership is the preeminent dual nouns in developing the right solution to these problems. If the survival of my family depends on the administration that possesses these attributes, it is not important to me if there is a “D”, “R” or an “I” after their names. However, after what I have witnessed in this election cycle, it is pretty difficult for me to rely on John McCain, the senator who thought the economy was fundamentally strong and who, occasionally, gets confused about geography and the names of warring factions. In reality, regardless of who is in office, taxes must be raised and belt-tightening will be necessary. There maybe even a need to have the draft reinstated.

Can you imagine your financial future, the lives of your sons and daughters in the hands of someone whose judgment/leadership abilities are in question, someone who is still defining himself?

........not with my family, not with my money and not with my country!

There’s a new sheriff in town and he has big ……

Perhaps I am only stating the obvious here, but I will state it anyway. But first, let us dismiss with all of the perfunctory excuses (e.g. lack of experience, he’s unknown, elitism, exotic) for why Senator Barack Obama is deemed not acceptable by a greater percentage of the American electorate and state it like it truly is: Ears…okay…he has big ears!

Today, the whole world is laughing at the stupidity and earism of this symbol of freedom called America. After the meteoric blunder of the Bush Administration for the last eight years, for what other reason could this election cycle be so close?

Now, there it is: Big Ears.

America would rather shoot itself in the foot before it would elect one of the most intelligent and able men that this country has produced who seeks the highest office in the land. A recent poll stated that Americans between eighteen and thirty-nine years of age preferred Obama over McCain. That tells me that young people are beyond the “big ears” issue and accepting of Obama based on his character, intelligence and outlook for America. They are thinking about now and the future.

For those of you who are parents and are concerned about the future of your children, why stifle their future with more “Bush-think” because of your last century hang-ups? Most prudent parents want conditions better for their children than they had for themselves.

Some say the American electorate is stupid, prove them wrong and vote for the guy with big ears……this time!

I'm a little confused

Let me see if I have this straight.....

* If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'

* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, yours is a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow ,Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.
* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive and next in line behind a man in his eighth decade.
* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a true Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America 's.

* If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now....I think.

author unknown

A woman's perogative

Governor Sarah Palin, last night, seemed to have overcome the oncoming headlights from the night before. Not ideal, somewhat scripted, but she did come across more relaxed on her home turf of Wasilla.

However, I feel that her position on women’s reproductive rights is still going to be a point of contention for the campaign with “Hillary’s 1st Army,” on the march. I think acceptance of the lack-luster John McCain and a personable mommy-factor in Sarah Palin is not enough for this army to accept, contradicting their core beliefs.

Could Barack Obama who has two young daughters whom he loves so dearly and a wife whom is the rock his home-life is built on be so repugnant, so repulsive that American women will give up the values that they hold near and dear to just be thrown to the wind to have a woman be next in line for the presidency? If so, would be insane.

How many single moms/middle-class Americans can support weaker tax protection for their families and recalcitrant judicial appointments? How many more mothers will have to watch their children fight another war, initiated by poor judgment? How many rational Americans can continue to support those that condone the legalization of military assault weapons on our streets and the basic tenets of George W. Bush for four more years?

Dear John......

I just want to take this opportunity to congratulate you on winning the Republican Presidential Nomination. I want to reassure you that Dick and me don’t have any hard feelings toward you for not wanting us at your big party in St. Paul last week. Little people don’t think much of me right about now and my poll numbers are down. So, I understand how you feel.

I know you and me haven’t seen eye-to-eye over the years, but Dick and me think you’re still a good old boy and we want you to continue the Republican tradition. As you know, we are putting all of our resources at your disposal. I still can’t believe I served two terms. All I can say is that our people are really good. So, don’t you worry about a thing. The 169 lobbyists we have on your team know what to do. Hell, look at the ideal selection our guys made with Sarah Palin. During Viet Nam, I was enjoying running women and having a goodtime and daddy told me to get involved with the armed forces because it would look good. The swift boat guys were hesitant to work with my campaign, but daddy talked to T. Boone and the rest is history. And if you think the swift boat fellas were affective for me, wait until you see what our people are going to come up with for you!

I couldn’t say this around the guys, but if you do the right thing while you’re at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, you will be taken care of, in spite of Cindy’s money. And for the first time, you’ll be your own man. Dick’s people made a killing in Iraq. Right now, the vice president is not worried about a thing, except his ticker.

I truly believe America is the greatest country in the world and the only way we can remain number one is to insure the dominance of the top tier. We finance technology and foster innovation. We state the course for success and the little people carry out our plan.

Dick and me want to thank you for all of your support and we wish you and Sarah much success. Always remember that we take care of our own.

God bless America!

Sincerely,
George W. Bush

p.s. You, Sarah, Dick and me must get together and go moose hunting after the campaign. Don't worry, I'll make sure Dick's gun has blanks.

Swan Song

The Republican Presidential Nominee, John McCain, a historically boring speaker, went deeper than I have ever seen him go to present himself as the man he wants us to choose as the next President of the United States.

Inspirationally, the senator never had the ability to move me and perhaps never will. But, I did come away with a better understanding of his POW experience in Viet Nam. He stated, again, that he was self-centered and did not really have a sense of patriotism until he was at his lowest and then received assistance from fellow POWs. Hmmm, how dare other folks confess such sentiments?

Obviously, Viet Nam is the senator’s strongest life experience. But, o.k. how many more times are we going to have to endure this experience with him? The sign of true humility is to hush about life-altering episodes and allow others to sing your praises. If you are blessed to live long enough, you too, will experience tough times.

Senator McCain did bash the abuses of the Bush Administration, but did not offer substantive solutions. Drill, drill, drill should not be the mantra for energy independence. Bomb Iran, bomb Iran should not be a McCain Administration theme song because these slogans suggest the continuation of the Bush legacy. After twenty five years of being entrenched in the political system in Washington, surrounding yourself with lobbyist/handlers and bear-hugging George W. Bush is not the best way to extricate yourself as the change agent you want to be. Is that why the "Maverick" leans on Governor Palin so much?

Yesterday evening, in St. Paul, was Senator John Sidney McCain’s attempt at giving a most passionate swan song.